It's 3:45 AM, March 6, 2012.
One year to the day since Kim was killed. The trial for the person responsible started yesterday. It has brought back a lot of feelings and emotions from that day a year ago. The first night, I couldn't sleep. Indeed, for the first few nights I couldn't sleep. I had no recourse back then but to toss and turn and cry.
Since that time, I have started writing. That's what I am doing now. Far more productive and therapeutic. I'm sad, but feel the need to stay strong for the family, especially Adam. But, at times like this, it gets very tiring being strong, VERY tiring. I hate this feeling, I really do. I know that around 4:00 this afternoon I am going to be exhausted again. I want to get back to something resembling normal. Something where I can just do my thing and not be concerned with anything else.
This trial is a very exhausting experience, and it's only day 1. Several more days to go. My upbringing by my old German Master Sergeant father is really paying off. Thanks for that dad. Now I know what you meant.
Well, I'm going to try and get some sleep. Another day in court. Need to be alert, make notes and support those who need it.
It never ends....
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